An Email Letter to My Friend. Circa April 15, 2010. 10:32

I will take this paragraph by paragraph. It's a lot. Everyone has their own take on my life but nobody knows for sure. Cause no one asks me directly. So they know nothing. Booooo them.

I've never had job problems anywhere I've lived. Except Athens. I worked at the airport two years in Colorado. And no. It's hard to do what I do. And leave you. But I just go with the wind. Would you stay somewhere where you couldn't work? No. Cause you aren't when you graduate.

You can't keep me from doing something I have my mind set to. No one can. No matter how irrational it may be. And no I didn't use you. I kept trying to leave. Every time I had money I gave it to you. Even when I had no money. It went to doing something for you. I kept trying to stay at Davids but you wouldn't let me. No one believes me cause the girls are the only ones my friends talk to. Mainly cause I'm never around. Or that no one asks me. I've never convinced any of the girls to back out of there lease. It was them. I was against it. If you only knew the amount of girls that fall in love of me. I hate it. Honestly. But at the same time I like it. It makes me feel wanted. But it's not genuine.

I do fall in "love" rather fast. But it's a two way thing. I feed off the others input. It's more than a month really. Every girl that's attracted to me are not normal. One bit. You are a case in point. I don't manipulate. Entirely. I'm good on my own. I don't need it. We all deserve better. But we take what we can get. I don't want anything. It's not fair to the people who get involved. And it is irresponsible getting into things with girls knowing the things I know about myself.

I didn't cheat on you. I don't do that. Kristin wanted me to but it's not my thing. I can't. I haven't done any drugs since September of '04. Not even up here. I couldn't. It really scares me. I lied about it. When I get depressed I lie about shit. Like with my father. And about telling you about my father? Who knows? I wanted to be honest with you.

Well really you should keep your distance but I won't stop talking to you if you want to still be friends. I can't date you though cause of how I am. I can't really date anyone. Please just use caution when dealing with me.

Love you lots,
James